Dr. OK - This is (was) my primary RE. OK does in fact
stand for the first two initials in his name. But it really stands for will you please
just say OK to all my requests and go along with what I would like to do. Ladies I'm sure
you understand, we know what we want, unfortunately this one seems to think his opinion is
what matters but every once in a while he does give in, but not without some little speech
about why he feels it is medically indicated. DOCTORS!!! So, I still call him Dr. OK in
the hopes that this is the response I will get. My RE is also known as (a.k.a.) a
technopeasant, due to his e-mail deficiencies.
Although there is evidence that he does have someone who takes
his e-mail messages, just like the way a secretary takes his other phone messages, there
is absolutely nothing personal or particularly responsive about e-mailing this Doctor.
Rumor has it he may still be using a quill and inkwell but this I am not sure of.
Dr. X - Dr. X performed an emergency (maybe)laprascopy on
me. I call him Dr. X because when I woke up this is what I was left with in my belly
button. So, I figured it must be his signature. Dr. X has a very good sense of humor and
has been known to laugh at the nickname or two I have told him about. Hopefully he will at
least smile at his own nickname and perhaps with his future surgeries on patients he will
get more sophisticated with the knife and actually move up the alphabet to leave his real
initial!!
As a side note: when faced with yet another surgery this
past summer. It was at first thought to be another laprascopy before it was changed to a
laparotomy. Knowing that a laprascopy would mean more belly button scars I was going to
ask my surgeon if he was interested he could earn another nickname, just two more
incisions in the right way and he could have been named Dr. Star. But, at last there was
no laprascopy so a Dr. Star was not born.
Dr. Fangs I & Dr. Fangs II - This nickname is purely a
function of the job that these Fellows have performed. Dr. Fangs I went on to another
clinic his successor became Dr. Fangs II. These Doctors are the ones who are responsible
for the day to day procedures and execution of the co-culture project. This is where these
Doctors get to perform an act of torture in the obtaining of an endometrial biopsy. Being
creatures with Fangs they don't seem to mind this task. But their favorite part which we
can tell by the way they lick their lips is the outrageous number of vials of blood they
have drawn. They each claim that this blood is to make maternal serum for the co-cultures.
But no intelligent patient could possibly believe that the endometrial cells could require
that much blood. Therefore the only logical solution to this puzzle is that they are in
fact drinking it! This also explains the vampire like Fangs that has caused them to earn
their name.
Dr. Froggy - This Doctor I have actually known for a
while, but he just earned his nickname last cycle. The first time I saw him he looked like
most pre-adolescent boys a bit pudgy and he had that well, pre-puberty type of build. As
the years have gone on he has slimmed down a bit and grown up a bit - in short he appears
to have matured! Last cycle he came into the examining room and his voice croaked a hello.
As it did he put his hands on his throat and indicated he was sick and had a frog in his
throat. It was finally admitted that he was reaching maturity. At that moment by evidence
of voice a mature Frog had finally evolved. So, I am happy to say this means all the
Cornell Doctors appear to have reached physical maturity. They may all even be old enough
to drive motor vehicles. Although this Doctors smileface tie might still indicate some
lingering childhood habits.
Dr. Negativity - This Doctor is not truthfully a bad guy.
It's just that he not only sees the glass as half empty, he also goes on to lecture you
about the horrors of dying of thirst! I guess he's just a slow learner, he hasn't quite
learned what our hormones already do to us and how little additional dismal thoughts we
can tolerate. Sorry Doctor this is definitely a nickname I hope you outgrow.
